So Lovely in Red
by xxTigerAvatarxx
Summary: Alternative ending to the first anime series. Al uses the stone to revive his brother, and himself, but rushes off when he believes the transmutation has failed. Both brothers believing the other is dead, they must fight all opposition until they are reunited once again. **TORTURE FIC** YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! RoyEd/Elricest/EnvyEd, with mentions of AlWin, EdWin, Royai, and DanteEd.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Alphonse Elric

_May 9, 1914_

**"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."**

**-Kahlil Gibran**

The complex was utterly silent. Not a breath of wind stirred the thick layer of dust which blanketed the floor boards of the second story bedroom. The soft pattering of mice running about from one side of the room to the other was, thankfully, muffled by the dusty wood. Not a sound could be heard within the four compressed corners and, for that, its occupant was grateful.

The room wasn't anything spectacular: just a place to stay for the night. The aged windows were cracked slightly to allow the cool breeze to kiss the soft skin of the sleeping figure on the bed, around which, the thin sheets where wrapped so tightly that the boy was almost indistinguishable. Over the course of the night, the scratchy material had wound itself tightly around the body as he had restlessly tossed and turned with the violence of his nightmare, crying out softly again and again. His eyebrows were knit tightly together and, though the child's eyelids were pressed together as much as they could be, the tears still managed to find an escape and seeped onto his quivering cheeks.

With a start, Alphonse Elric shot up straight on the mattress, which groaned loudly beneath him. His frightened eyes darted quickly around the room, taking in the rustic surroundings which, as he well knew, weren't the same in appearance as the extravagant ballroom that continuously plagued his nightmares. As he studied the peeling wallpaper and inhaled the musty scent of his rented bedroom, his ragged breathing began to slow until, finally, he was able to get enough oxygen back into his brain and think clearly.

The small boy breathed a jarred sigh of relief, before the pain overtook him as it always did, following the dream. With a sharp cry, he flung himself back down on the mattress and began to sob uncontrollably. For Al, the aftermath of the nightmares was always the worst part.

Sure, he could handle the steady replaying of his memories against the back of his eyelids; he could handle seeing his only brother, the one who had stuck by him for so long, being pierced with that sudden blade and dying slowly in front of him again and again. Alphonse could even power through the terrifying moment when he would wake from the memory and struggle to remember how to breathe, the intensity of it all chilling him to his very core. He could handle all of this.

What he couldn't bear... was reality.

He would calm himself down, absorbing the callousness of his new setting and reminding himself that it was only a dream. _Calm down, Al. It's only a nightmare. It wasn't real... You're safe. You're safe. _

Not a moment later, however, the inaccuracy of what his mind had been telling him would begin to seep into his cerebellum, screaming at him from the inside. The reality of the situation would crash down on his shoulders, nearly splitting his mind open from the sheer pain in his soul. Because it was at these times when Alphonse remembered that it _wasn't _just a dream.

When the brothers had been young, they had once overheard a tall-tale which an old farmer had been telling down at the market place in Resembool. While Edward had reminded his brother again and again that what the man had said was only a story, Al still wasn't able to erase the images from his mind and continuously had nightmares for many years to follow. Each night, following the night terror, Edward would climb into bed with Alphonse, hold him close, and whisper in his ear:

_"Nothing can harm you, Al. You'll always be safe while I'm around, don't forget that, okay? Nothing can touch you, nothing can hurt you... Not while I'm still here. That's how it's always been... and that's how it'll always be..."_

"But you were wrong, Brother..." the broken whisper escaped his lips before Al could stop it. As soon as the tears had dried, new ones began to fill his eyes. _You said you would always be here... But, now..._

Edward had always been there for Al, picking him up when he fell, always making him feel equal under their mother's gaze... His entire life, Edward had dedicated everything he did, everything he accomplished, to Al. Even after committing the taboo, the first priority in his brother's mind had been to return Alphonse to normalcy first and foremost.

_I just had a nightmare, Brother... Where are you now?_

He isn't there. Al chided himself again and again to remind himself of the fact that his brother was no longer there to hold him as he cried, or chase away his fears. Edward was no longer there to whisper those ancient reassuring promises in his ear... This was the part of the night terror that was always the most painful to endure: the realization that the nightmare _had_, in fact, been real, and that his brother would never again be there beside him when he woke up sobbing each night.

Trembling, Al wiped his tear-filled eyes with the sleeve of his nightshirt and stood from the bed, stripping his pajamas from his body as he limped to the shower. The cold night air hit his bare skin like a freight train, but Alphonse couldn't be bothered by such a trivial thing. After all, Edward no longer worried about such matters... Why should he be any different?

He sighed, cranking the shower faucet around before he stepped into the warmth behind the curtain, allowing his mind to numb itself against the onset of emotions which had begun to claim him. He listlessly stood in the shower stall, letting the hot flowing water droplets cascade over his body, relaxing even his tensest of muscles, and conceded to the pressing memories of _that _night.

Behind closed eyes, he watched again and again as Edward reappeared in the brightly lit ballroom, a glint in his eye revealing his preparedness to finish what he had started. He relived his brother's battle with the odious creature who had called himself "Envy". He recalled the fight down to every missed attack, every word spoken... right down to when Edward had managed to finally pin the beast to the floor and lunge in for the final strike. He remembered the blade... That which had been concealed from the human eye until the perfect moment to strike.

To this day, Al couldn't fathom what had made his brother hesitate. Alphonse couldn't understand what had made him falter in his attack... He never saw it coming.

_"BROTHER!"_

With a start, Alphonse felt his body jar violently, causing his eyes to open and the quietness of the night to settle on his body once more. He slowly reached to shut off the water, which had long ago turned to ice beyond his level of awareness. His body trembled, lips tinted an icy blue to match his toes and fingertips as he stood, shivering in the cold night air.

Alphonse undecidedly remained that way for a while longer, trembling visibly in the frigid air, unable to recall how to use his legs. He no longer saw the shower walls, no longer heard the chattering of his teeth... he was back in his memories, absorbed by the sensation of it all.

_Edward lay there, dying in his arms... No, not dying. Dead. He was already gone... The blood from the gaping hole in his torso soaked through the alchemist's thin shirt and began to seep through the cracks in Al's armor, staining it a sickening crimson. Edward's eyes were opened wide, staring desperately at the empty air behind his brother's head, unmoving... unblinking... unseeing. Dead. Cold. Dead._

Fresh tears threatened to spill over at the memory of his brother's unmoving, cold body wrapped tightly in his arms. _I can fix him, _he had decided at the time. _I can bring him back.._

But no matter what alchemy he tried at that point in time, Edward was gone and couldn't be saved. The only thing Alphonse _had _managed to bring back from beyond the Gateway, had been his own body. He hadn't been able to bring back Edward, his only brother. Alphonse had stared relentlessly at the boy's chest, begging for it to move with the breath of life... The life of his brother... returned to the earth.

But Edward's body had only begun to grow colder...

And so, too, had Alphonse Elric's heart...

**Reviews are love 3 As a forewarning, this story will have yaoi GALORE… and also way too much gore for a sane person to write about… Back out now if your stomach is too weak to handle it. For the rest of you, reviews are love :3 I will update this story ****_every_****_other_**** week. Not every week. Every other. (Maybe even week and a half…) However, not any sooner. So don't ask.**

**Feel free to PM me about anything, any time of day! I'm a very friendly person… except for when it comes to hate mail… I doubt even the devil enjoys receiving hate….**

**:3 Love you guys!**

**xxTAxx**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Alphonse Elric

_May 13, 1914_

**"There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy."**

**-Dante**

"Here you are, kid. One train ticket to Resembool."

"Thank you." Alphonse Elric reached up, shakily, and took the small rectangular slip from the brusque, grey-haired man at the gate. With a slight frown, the young brunette boy studied the paper material between his fingers. The golden design imprinted on the paper appeared... fake... in some fashion, to him... Somehow, not appearing as glamorous as that first train ticket had been all those years ago.

It all happened so suddenly that Alphonse jerked in utter surprise at the abruptness at which the memories flooded back into his brain.

_"Hey, kid!" _

_"Kid!"_

"Kid!"

Just as swiftly as he had been whisked away from the outside world, it all came crashing back down on him, as though the weight of the world had been briefly removed from his shoulders only to be replaced by a much larger planet. With reality, came the remembrance of Edward. And with the absence... came the tears.

_He's not here... He's not here..._

The passersby stooped down to his level as sobs began to wrack through his frame, and asked if there was anything they could do for him. Had he lost his mom? Well, yes... a long, long, time ago... Was he lost? If their definition matched his, then, yes, he had been lost for quite some time now... But all the pestering questions soon subsided as one-by-one, they slowly realized that this little crying boy didn't want any of their help. There was nothing they could do for him, after all... Nothing would bring Edward back.

Trembling slightly from the aftermath of his memories, Alphonse tucked his legs beneath him and used them to push himself up from the ground. He wobbled a little, as he still had yet to familiarize himself with his new flesh and blood limbs, but didn't let the waver of confidence show on his face. With new determination, he strode from the crowd of worried civilians who had gathered around him and walked out into the rain.

Al loved the rain. He always had. Since getting his body back over a week ago, it had rained everyday... not always a downpour each day... but it was still rain. The feeling of the small droplets on his skin, the smell of the air when a storm was fast approaching, even the _sound _which the rain made as it splashed onto the awaiting pavement_... _Though Alphonse wasn't even sure if he believed in religion (as he knew his brother had abandoned it long ago), he couldn't help but succumb to the idea that the angels were weeping for his loss. That the rain, falling from the heavens day after day, were their tears of sorrow... And, for the rain, he was grateful.

He had no one. When Edward had gone... he had taken everything with him. The remainder of his family, his only friend, his reason for living... Only the memories seemed to grow stronger. And it just _killed_ him all the more...

Alphonse, himself, was not military personnel... He, now that his brother had passed, had no connection to the friends they had made over the past few years of their lives together. Roy Mustang was no longer his superior. Riza Hawkeye was no longer the watchful Lieutenant. Maes Hughes... now deceased... was no longer the happy-go-lucky man who had been the first to treat the brothers as equals. As though, their mistake _hadn't_ changed their lives... or who they were as people.

But, now, none of that mattered. There was no one left to turn to... Even if there somehow _was_ the possibility of maintaining the friendships between the military officers and himself... he didn't even know where to find them. Most recently, Mustang's crew had been called off to take part in the Northern skirmish along the Drachman border; the general, himself, heading up to lead the front lines... and Al was left alone with no one left to comfort him. No one had heard the news yet: about Edward... about the underground city... for the soul reason that Alphonse kept it all to himself.

The small droplets of rain cascaded down his cheeks, masking the salty tears which had only just begun to fall, as the sky opened up wide with a loud crack of thunder. Tears mixed with rain as the young Elric boy stood with his back to the station, face tilted up to the heavens... searching for some kind of answer.

As he stood, he cried. The harder and faster his tears fell down his face, the more he was consumed by his grief... the more he remembered...

_Two sets of feet pounded against the muddied street gravel, carrying the two brothers as fast as they could be allowed to run. The sky roared loudly with wind and thunder as the thick raindrops danced off of the boys' exposed skin and formed pools of water on the road, which Edward was all too happy to race through... sending the contents of the puddle flying in every direction._

_"Brother! You're getting me all wet!" _

_"Al, you're already wet!" This retort earned a low whine from the younger brother as Edward harshly jumped through another puddle, soaking Al's pants through to his skin. Alphonse grumbled audibly at his now saturated trousers, but was cut off abruptly as his mind formed an evil plan, eyes focusing on a rather large puddle directly ahead of him. _

_With a triumphant shout, Al kicked off of the ground and leapt into the air before landing heavily in the center of the oversized pool. Much to his surprise, however, the puddle was much, _much _deeper than it had first appeared to him and Alphonse began to stumble and eventually tripped over his own feet, earning a face full of mud. Instead of roaring with laughter at his brother's blunder, Edward quickly caught up to the younger boy and sat down beside him, gently wiping the mud and tears from his face._

_"You big dummy..." Edward wrapped Alphonse up in a tight embrace as his brother's tears slowly subsided, "You didn't even get me wet..."_

_"Not even a little?" His dismay was evident in his voice and Edward sympathetically glanced down into the silvery-bronze irises which so differed from his own, releasing a small chuckle._

_"Not even a little, Al..." _

With a start, he was brought back to reality and unconsciously surveyed the empty space on his left... No Edward. As one final tear yielded to the overpowering force of gravity and left the harbor of his eye, Alphonse turned on his heel and marched back inside the train station, shaking the rain water from his hair and continuing on to his dictated platform.

_Winry, forgive me... Please.._

_"Now boarding train 665 to Resembool. All passengers please move to the designated platform. Now boarding train 665 to Resembool."_

Never in his life had Al thought that on the day which he finally returned home, back in one piece, that he would be making the journey alone...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

General Roy Mustang

_May 13, 1914_

**"Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad."**

**Christina Georgina Rossetti**

Roy Mustang finally returned to consciousness in a dark, unfamiliar room, obscured by night. From what he could presume, the four walls were white-washed and reeked of disinfectant. It had been many years since the General had been admitted to a hospital... but the atmosphere in the room was still the same as it had been all that time ago: the emptiness of the room almost suffocating him as he struggled to recall his reason for being here.

Upon hearing the rustle of clothing directly to his left, Mustang sat up suddenly and jerked his head in the direction of the noise, his eyes softening as they landed on Riza Hawkeye's sleeping form.

The lieutenant was slumped over in a fold-out chair which had been positioned at his bedside... and, if he knew her as well as he thought, the chair hadn't been without an occupant for the past few days. Smiling slightly at her protectiveness, he reached over, ignoring the pain piercing through his left shoulder, and gently tucked a lock of honey hair behind her ear, causing her to stir in her sleep. His breath caught and movements stilled but it was all to no avail, and her eyelids fluttered open.

There was no indication that she actually _saw _the General staring at her as he was... no suggestion in her expression to make him think that him waking up had been a change... Her face showed no anger, sadness, relief, or even happiness at his return to consciousness. A simple, small smile graced her lips and her eyes flickered with something he couldn't quite place, before she silently stood and floated over to the sink.

Roy bitterly stared after his subordinate, desperately trying to place the emotion he had seen flash through her eyes. It was an emotion he had seen many times before... Yet, at the moment, could not seem to discern it. His thoughts were swiftly cut off as a delicate hand grasped his, and turned the palm out to face the ceiling. Before Roy could open his mouth to speak, a pearly styrofoam cup was thrust into his hand and, judging by the look on the Lieutenant's face, he was expected to drink from it.

Hesitantly, Mustang cleared his throat, effectively breaking the silence.

"How long-?" He managed, gruffly, taking a sip of water from the cup to ease his blistering throat. Hawkeye once more took her position in the chair beside him, eyes sympathetically boring into his as she breathed out the response of a week.

_A week? He'd been unconscious that long?_

"And what of the Furher and his family?" He begrudgingly inquired, shifting his good eye down to look at the blanket beneath him, lazily balling the material into his fist.

"No one has heard from him, Sir. It was reported that, a few days ago, Mrs. Bradley came to the hospital and checked out her son. No one has seen them since then..." The amber irises danced around the room hesitantly as Roy suspiciously quirked an eyebrow in her direction. Lieutenant Hawkeye wasn't one to become flustered over a simple report.

"What else, Lieutenant?"

"I... It's just that..." Riza swallowed loudly and breathed deeply before she finally continued. "At the time of your confrontation with Furher Bradley, it is believed that the Elric brothers devised a mission of their own and, upon departing, disappeared from military surveillance, sir. Though our personnel has attempted to locate the boys, all efforts have been futile... As of now, we have no leads as to where they could have gone..." The silence which settled on the room like a thick cloud seemed strangely ominous, and at the sharp widening of the General's eyes, Hawkeye promptly dropped the formalities. "I'm sorry, Roy."

Resting his chin atop his laced fingers, as was typical of the General, he exhaled slowly before dramatically throwing the sheets from his body and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

The Lieutenant made an indignant noise of protest in the back of her throat, and ran over to the opposite side of the bed where Mustang was tenderly testing the temperature of the tile with his toes. As Roy moved to stand, his miscalculations caused him to stumble and fall into Hawkeye's arms which had been held out in the circumstance that the General would insist on being a stubborn jackass per usual.

Angrily, Riza threw him back onto the mattress, which creaked noisily under the return of Mustang's weight, and placed her hands to her hips.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" She sputtered hotly, glaring down upon her superior as though he had truly lost his mind. Roy leaned back on his hands, tenderly reaching up to pick at the IV lines trailing from his arms and sighing defeatedly. Just when Riza thought the General was prepared to give in and slide back beneath the covers, he spoke up:

"Did I ever tell you the story of how Edward Elric became the youngest State Alchemist in Amestris?" Hawkeye couldn't mask her surprise at his sudden question... Had he ever told her the full story? She knew that he had been the one to find Edward in the beginning, and had been the man to push for his instatement in the military... and, of course, everyone had heard about how the child had passed the skills portion of the exam...

But what had started it all? How had the man, sitting before her, even chanced to _meet_ the hot-headed teenager from Resembool?

Curious to know the answer, and his reasoning for confiding in her now, of all times, she deftly shook her head and took a spot next to him on the bed. The General mustered a sad smile, remembering that fateful day in Central when his life had changed forever.

"It was the letter that started it all," he began, sadness dripping from his voice. "It was sitting atop one of my many mounds of paperwork one day and, by chance, I happened to read it instead of tossing it like I had all the others. The letter had been composed by two brothers from a small town out in East Area, who were in search of their father, Van Hohenheim. In it, they explained how they planned to send a letter to each of the addresses from which their father had sent them a letter, hoping someone at the destination would know where to find him and send him home...

"Their mother was dying of the plague, you see. And these young boys thought that, maybe, if their father returned home in time, everything would be alright...

"But, by the time their letter had actually reached me in Central, it was already too late. Unknown to me, the boys' mother had passed due to her sickness, and the gears had only just begun to turn in their heads as to how they could bring her back with their alchemy... the forbidden deed: human transmutation."

Riza gasped suddenly, feeling the tears leak from her eyes as the sad tale began to consume her, and reached across Roy's lap to grasp his good hand, holding it tightly in hers. Refusing to glance up at her, the troubled smile returned and the story continued to pour from his lips.

"I wasn't sure what I would find by journeying to Resembool, but the letter had piqued my interest... I had known their father years ago, and had been searching for the man since his disappearance months before the letter had arrived. Those hastily scribbled down words on the parchment had re-kindled my fire to find Hohenheim and, so, I decided to pay the Elric brothers a little visit.

"The first train to Resembool wasn't for another week and, thus, I returned to my work, going about my daily life, until I was able to leave. I don't believe I had even told anyone where I was off to... I just left the office and only returned once my task had been completed...

"On the day I arrived in the rural town, it was raining heavily and there was the unmistakable stench of alchemy in the air. I quickly learned that the Elric home wasn't far from the station and started off in their direction at once, fearing the worst. What I had feared, an alchemist doctor experimenting on the poor woman, was nothing compared to what I discovered at the house...

"I let myself in, bits of the doorframe giving way from the aftermath of the performed alchemy. The entire house reeked and I had to keep my head down to stop my eyes from burning. What I saw on the floor, nearly stopped my heart." Roy paused dramatically and Riza vowed she saw the ghost of a tear slip down his cheek before he once more turned from her.

"Blood. Too much to be tolerated, even by the strongest of stomachs... There were... bloodied handprints lining the walls, thick, dark footprints staining the wooden floorboards. And an indisputable trail of blood leading from the basement. Nervously, I made my way down the stairs, praying to God I wouldn't see what I expected to find.

"If you had told me back then that it was possible for a person to lose more blood than that which I saw upstairs and still live, I would have lit you up in a second's time for being a complete idiot... But as I took my first step into the haze of the lower level, my foot nearly slipped on the liquid covering the floor...

"Th- there was so much... So much blood, Riza! And the smell... It was worse than all of Ishbal had been!... But what made me sprint from the room as fast as my legs could carry me, was what I _saw. _

"It- it wasn't human... I don't know what it was, but I know it wasn't human... It just... stared at me... like it wanted me to do something... But I- I couldn't! It wasn't human!" The tears cascaded without end now. The General didn't seem to even remember that he was telling this to anyone in particular... he was surrendering to all the anger and fear that he had felt that day, finally allowing it to be released from the secrecy of his memories. Unbeknownst to him, his subordinate cried with him, for him, trying to ease his pain in any way she could.

Then, to her utter and complete _horror_, Roy began to _laugh. _Her hand jerked instinctively away from him as she looked at the General with concern lacing her orbs...

"I went to find them, you know... After all they had just gone through, I figured 'why not add a little more to their plates?'... When I found them, Al had carried Edward all the way to their friends' house: Winry and Grandma Pinako. They were the only two people the brothers had left in the world...

"Edward was neatly bandaged when I arrived at the house, his face appearing peaceful and almost... comatose.. His brother sat in the corner of the room, watching on in confusion and utter sadness as the old lady worked furiously to save his brother from certain death. All I could do to keep from breaking down at the sight of the eleven year old boy, who lay dying in the bed before me as a result of alchemy, was to marvel at the work he had done to attach his brother's soul to the suit of armor..

"So I offered him a job as a State Alchemist... though Edward was unconscious at the time and I was kicked out because of it by the old bat, _I_ was the one to plant the idea in the brothers' minds to find the Philosopher's Stone with the resources we could provide them... I was the one who began everything. I'm responsible...

"... And now you're telling me that no one has any idea where either of the Elrics are... So if I get up to try and assume my _responsibility _of looking after those boys, are you really going to stand in my way?" At long last, his midnight eyes locked with hers, and she found herself unable to look away from the sadness she saw there.

"General... sir..."

"It's my fault they're here, Lieutenant. It's my responsibility to keep those children safe... And I'm going to do just that, with or without you." Defeated, Riza Hawkeye stood from the bed and strode over to the door to retrieve his coat, before returning to his side and helping him slip it on.

As one, they gathered their necessities from the hospital room, slid into the hallway, and disappeared into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Alphonse Elric

_May 14-15, 1941_

**"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared." **

**― Lois Lowry, _The Giver_****  
**

The journey back to his hometown seemed to take forever... Or maybe it only appeared that way due to the pit in his stomach growing larger and larger with each passing second. Swallowing back a nervous lump in his throat, Alphonse nearly cried at the heavy weight pressing down on his chest.

_Winry..._

He could feel the blood passing through his heart harden and freeze into ice as he began to think of the actual task of _telling_ Winry that Ed was... that he was...

The lump returned, making it hard for Alphonse to breathe or swallow... Just thinking about the blonde mechanic made his heart ache with sadness. As the train approached the small station in the distance, seemingly growing larger as the seconds flew by, Alphonse could hear nothing but the ringing in his ears. He hardly even noticed when the locomotive had come to rest at the platform, the passengers, surrounding him, standing to gather their belongings and depart from the cabin.

The heavy feeling in his heart preventing him from rising too quickly, Alphonse tentatively reached for his arm crutch, resting forgotten across the seat beside him. His shoulders shook with the sigh that escaped him, curling his fingers around the familiar brace and walking determinedly from the train, leaning heavily upon the metal for support.

The young teen stood there for a long while... not moving from the platform, not speaking to anyone, just simply standing at the station, not a bag to his name. As the train began to depart, Alphonse realized with a sinking feeling that there was no other way to go now, but forward. He couldn't very well return to Central, at he very least not for a few weeks time...

_Winry..._

Not entirely sure where his legs were taking him, his body began to move of its own accord, strolling into the green countryside with renewed fervor. It wasn't until Alphonse had reached the peak of the third rolling crest, that he realized he wasn't being brought to Winry and Granny Pinako, but to the remnants of his home.

Sitting, abandoned, atop the hill in front of him, the ruins of his childhood home lay before him, the silence immediately overwhelming its former occupant. Why had he drug himself _here, _of all places? Alphonse realized, all too soon, that this would be his first return home without his brother to accompany him...

This would be his first time, standing amidst the remains of their most horrifying mistake... alone.

Reluctantly, his feet continued to carry him to the crumpled heap where he and his brother had once run and played so happily together. Off to one side of the house, their favorite swing began to sway eerily with a strong gust of wind, causing its supporting branch to groan with the return of movement below. Upon coming to the very top of the hilltop, his legs suddenly gave out beneath him, and Alphonse crumpled to the ground in a sobbing heap.

"Mom... I'm so sorry! We never meant for this to happen! We- we never meant for any of this to happen!... We just wanted to see you smile... just one last time." Alphonse knew that no one could hear him, crying relentlessly into the dirt below, and the silence blanketing the hilltop only caused the tears to fall faster.

"Edward's gone, Mom... though I suppose he's with you now, isn't he? I... I tried to save him, I did! But I was too late... I was too weak..." Trembling, his fingers scraped across the grassy dirt and clenched together in a fist. "Are you happy, brother?" It was so quiet... So very quiet... and he was so incredibly alone...

"Are you happy?!" Alphonse began shouting hysterically into the wind, releasing the pain and anger he had been suppressing inside his chest for the last eight days. The wind howled back, in response, swirling leaves and bits of earth around his frame as the young boy screamed angrily at the darkening sky.

"Dammit, brother! We were supposed to see mom together! You told me we'd bring her back together and that we'd be happy again! You said we'd always be together! We were always supposed to be together, no matter what!... YOU LIAR!" His voice was drowned out by the wind as the sky began to cry, millions of tiny raindrops splashing across the Elric's face and rolling off to each side before dropping back to the earth.

"You... lied..." Alphonse collapsed to the ground, his arms losing all strength to support him, as his grief and exhaustion finally carried him away.

%%%%%%%

He knew he must look awful. Having finally succumbed to sleep on the flooded ground beside his former home, his clothes had become waterlogged and muddy with the dirty rain which had danced around him all through the night. Alphonse had briefly contemplated the horrible idea of simply lying there, in his pool of sorrow, and allowing his hypothermia to finally end his life then.

Yet, there he was, standing in the presence of the only Auto Mail shop in Resembool, reassuring himself, non-convincingly, that he could do it. He could tell Winry the horrible news of Edward's passing, and watch her kind face crumple with despair. He could look her in the eyes and tell his childhood friend that his brother would never again break another of her beautiful creations... ever, ever again.

Sighing in defeat, Alphonse turned on his heel to head back to Central, thinking maybe he would send her a letter instead, when he was tackled by a large black ball of fur. Crying out in shock, the boy fell to the ground, taking the crazed mutt with him, and bit his lip as his cane dug sharply into his side.

"Den, no!" He felt the weight suddenly removed from his back and he brought his head out from beneath his arms, no longer needing to protect himself against the onslaught of sloppy, wet dog kisses. As he struggled to sit up, weakened muscles not yet used to being attacked so abruptly, Alphonse was met with a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"Winry..." The girl standing over him gasped sharply, shock radiating through her features as she immediately recognized the man in front of her. Having not seen him in the flesh for so many years, she had almost not recognized the face she had known all her life.

"Al... Alphonse?" Winry gasped, tears springing to her eyes as she took in the aged features of her friend. "Is it really you?" Sheepishly, the boy beneath her nodded and managed a small smile, knowing their tearful reunion wasn't going to last much longer.

"You're back!" Without warning, Alphonse was suddenly tackled by a mass of blonde hair, once more being knocked to the ground with a undignified grunt. Eyes widening in shock, he soon realized Winry had begun to cry on his chest, holding onto his still-soaking shirt as though he could disappear at any moment. Comfortingly, he wrapped his arms around her sobbing frame, holding her as close as he dared.

Giggling, she leaned up and planted dozens of tiny kisses across his face, pecking her lips on any skin she could reach as if to say, "I missed you, dummy." Alphonse couldn't contain the laughter which erupted from his chest as she continued to attack him with affection, knowing full well that the kisses were out of friendship, and nothing more.

His laughter soon grew hysterical and she stopped her attacks, laughing with him well after his own had changed into sobs. The grief he had released the night before had only been the surface of his bottomless suffering. Winry mistook his tears as those of happiness and reached around him to embrace him once more before jumping up and offering him her hand.

As he reached up to accept the offered support, Winry asked the one question that stopped his heart:

"So, where's Ed?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright, a quick update before I run off to spring break! :D Leave me love for when I get back! Much appreciated!**

**I own nothing XP**

Chapter 5

Alphonse Elric

_May 15-16, 1914_

**"Love can sometimes be magic.**

**But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion."**

**-Javan **

"So, where's Ed?"

The silence which befell the two childhood friends was unsettling as Alphonse couldn't form a substantial response to Winry's question pertaining to his brother. The blonde immediately observed Al's speechless state and cast a worried glance in his direction as she helped him into a standing position, but decided not to pester him about it. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know what about Edward had caused Al to tense so visibly.

Noticing the arm crutch lying a few feet from where the two stood, Winry quickly stooped to pick it up from the ground, dusting off the metal before returning it to Alphonse, worry coloring her expression as she saw him actually _use _it, not realizing how weak his body must have been after all the years without nourishment. Carefully, Winry helped her friend along as they made their way inside the shop, the older of the two informing Alphonse that granny had gone to Rush Valley to replenish their supplies and wouldn't be home for another few days.

"She would love to see you, Al. Granny really worries about you two boys, off on your own all the time without so much as a letter or phone call to let us know what you're up to..." The young engineer continued to make small talk as she poured two cups of hot tea for them to drink. Setting the kettle back onto the stove, she relented, "It gets awfully lonely here... Will you be staying long?", before drifting over to the table where Alphonse was sitting.

As she handed the young boy his cup, her hand lingered a little longer than necessary and she offered him a slight smile before taking the seat across the table from him and staring at her own cup of swirling warmth. Neither spoke for quite some time, simply looking down into their mugs and occasionally sipping at the liquid, the silence which settled over the old house feeling... almost comforting... in some regard.

"It really is nice having you back, Al. Even if that hard-headed brother of yours didn't want to make the trip with you... It's nice just the same." The shattering of porcelain rang throughout the kitchen as Al abruptly dropped the cup, its contents splashing messily across the wooden floor boards. Sitting in utter shock, Winry stared at the puddle of tea before shifting her gaze to gawk at the trembling boy sitting opposite of her.

"Al... what-" she was interrupted suddenly by a loud sob which broke through Al's lips.

"He's not coming back home, Winry. I'm so sorry... It's all my fault." Without registering the meaning behind his words, Winry ran to him, carefully avoiding the mess on the floor, and wrapped her arms around her friend, trying to rid him of his hysterical state.

"Shh... Al, everything is going to be alright! It's okay!" Stroking his soft brown locks, Winry swiftly dragged the boy onto her lap and sat, rocking him, on the kitchen floor. She held him as he cried into her arms, whispering soothing nothings in his ear, wishing she could help him more.

"It's not okay." The whisper was barely audible, and Winry bent lower in a desperate attempt to understand Alphonse's words.

"It's not okay, Winry. It's not okay." Tear-filled eyes raised up to look into her cerulean irises, and she started at the pain and grief she saw lacing his orbs.

"Brother... he's..." the remainder of his sentence was choked off by a loud sob breaking from his throat, as tears streamed more fervently down his face. In her heart, Winry could hear Alphonse continuing on and finishing his incomplete speech, nearly shattering her already aching center, but knew that she needed to hear the words for herself before she could truly believe...

"Al... please, Al... what happened?" Winry hadn't even realized she had begun to mimic Alphonse's tears until her own rain splashed onto the boys cheeks. "Where's Ed? Where is he, Al?"

The absence of any explanation on the part of Alphonse was more than sufficient to solidify her suspicions, and her only response was to grip the young boy tighter in her arms and continue to rock him as her own sorrow combined with his. Winry was beside herself with grief... to know that Alphonse Elric, the only thing she had left besides Granny, was now completely alone in the world.

Edward was _gone_... There hadn't even been any warning to suggest the brothers had been doing anything abnormally dangerous. But maybe that's what made it all so hard to accept...

Wordlessly, Winry scooped up the now sleeping boy in her arms, realizing his human body wasn't accustomed to handling the torrent of emotions swirling through him at the loss of his only brother, and carried Alphonse up to her room to lay him on her bed. After one final glance at the brunette sleeping before her, eyes still knit together with his affliction, the blonde finally turned to leave the room to find respite on the living room sofa downstairs.

Then, thinking better of it, she returned to the bed and climbed under the covers with Al, wrapping her arms around his sleeping form and crying herself to sleep.

%%%%%%%

At some point, in the middle of the night, Alphonse awoke to discover Winry's unconscious form lying beside him in her bed. Small beads remained resting on her eyelids from her tears earlier, sparkling ominously in the moonlight streaming in from the window behind him. Tucking a lock of hair away from her face, Al didn't even notice when his friend had woken from her slumber to gaze at her companion.

As her sight landed on Alphonse's face, she sighed dejectedly, muttering something about wishing it had all just been a stupid dream, and reached up a hand to caress the smooth skin lining his jaw, causing the boy to tense and shift his gaze down to her from the wall he had been previously staring at blindly. Tentatively, Winry traced her fingertips over the teenage boy's lips, marveling in their tenderness, and opened her mouth to say something to him before quickly snapping it shut again, lowering her eyes from his.

"What is it, Winry?" the voice beside her ghosted, causing her irises to meet his once more.

"He's really gone... isn't he?" To her complete disappointment, she received only a nod in affirmation from her friend. Allowing one more tear to slip down the plane of her face, she returned her gaze to his, only to be met with the matched sorrow she and Alphonse shared.

"It will probably sound silly..." She began, shyly, keeping their eyes locked together, "... but when I look at you, Al, it's as though Edward isn't really gone. Because I see him inside you..." Experimentally, she touched her lips, just slightly, to his.

Both friends remained completely still: Alphonse, in shock and uncertainty, and Winry, in wait of the boy's response to her display of affection. Then, to her utter and absolute surprise, Alphonse leaned forward and again captured her lips with his, a gesture which she more-than-happily returned. Their embrace became more heated, lips clasping together with the untouched passion neither knew they possessed.

Of course, Winry and Alphonse both knew that the inner fire propelling them forward to so intimately clutch at one another's warmth, had not been fueled by physical attraction, or by any love shared for each other. Neither Winry, nor Al, felt "that way" about the other... but when they looked at each other, they saw bits and pieces of Edward neither could deny themselves, and so, too, came the inexplicable need to surround themselves with anything that reminded them of him.

As Al looked into Winry's eyes, he could clearly see the love she felt for his brother... The love for the boy which the two friends shared. Likewise, when Winry now looked at Alphonse, all she saw was Edward... and the similarity the two brother's shared.

And it was for this reason that the young girl made no noise of protest as Alphonse rolled her onto her back...

%%%%%%%

The next morning, Alphonse Elric woke up alone... something which his mind almost preferred. After all, if Winry _had _been sleeping next to him at the time he roused from sleep, he would have to immediately face the fact that it wasn't all a dream. He would have to admit to himself that he...

_Soft lips clashed together, as trembling, needy fingers worked desperately at each other's clothes..._

Cold dread settled over the young alchemist, and he abruptly sat up in bed, looking for something to cover himself with. He was suddenly filled with an overwhelming amount of guilt, and self-loathing. He had _slept with Winry... _his childhood friend, and brother's love interest, nonetheless!

The saddest part of it all was the fact that he had no idea how he was supposed to tell her that last night had been a giant mistake... What if it had meant something to her? They had both lost their virginity to each other... but somehow Alphonse couldn't bring himself to see what had happened as a terrible occurrence. They had both needed the contact... Although they had both used each other in the worst of ways, after losing Edward, the two friends desperately needed a way to release their sorrow and anger and... frustration...

His first time hadn't been at all as Al had imagined it... Wet from the constant falling of tears, and angry at nothing in particular, the encounter had only left him feeling worse than when they had started out. Al suddenly realized, with a start, that, during the intimacy, he hadn't even minded when Winry had whispered his brother's name instead of his own...

In fact, hadn't he been the one to shout Edward's name as he reached his peak?

Alphonse shook himself, trembling... There was no way he would have done that! Just because his brother was no longer here, and Al missed him so very dearly, didn't mean that he would have wanted to have sex with Edward... or imagine him in Winry's place...

... Would he?

Thinking back, Al's eyes widened in utter and agonizing horror at the realization that that was _exactly_ what he had done. He had forced himself to believe that it was Edward's writhing form beneath him as he thrust into the heat relentlessly, pouring all his emotion and love into each searing kiss. It hadn't been hard, after all, with the two being so similar: the blonde hair, the small frame... Al released a small shiver as the truth slowly dawned on him.

He was... in _love_... with his _brother_...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Major Edward Elric

_May 18, 1941_

**"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being.**

**His heart withers if it does not answer another heart.**

**His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration."**

**-Pearl S. Buck**

Everything hurt.

His arms ached, his legs throbbed, even his _eyelids _stung. Parts on his body, whose existence he had previously been unaware of, were screaming at him... But the worst pain, was his _head_.

Edward felt as though, maybe, Envy had ended up missing his torso with the deadly blade, and had hit the alchemist's brain in its place. His whole world spun. The boy's vision refused to focus on any one object in the room, seeing double... even triple, of everything. It took all of his strength just to lie there, breathing: one eye propped open to stare at the high ceiling, the other kept shut to bathe in the sea of blackness.

Not having any means to track the ticking hands of time, Edward Elric lay atop the silken sheets, focusing on nothing more than keeping his breath even and his mind clear. He didn't want to think, he didn't want to feel...

He didn't want to _be_... Not if the world was this painful.

On impulse, Edward reached up with his right arm to rub the sleep from his pained eyes, but soon realized that his limb wasn't responding to him. With a start, he was suddenly aware of his body: the silky sheets rubbing on his bandaged torso, chafed wrist scraping harshly across the rope which bound his left arm... and his right arm... gone. Destroyed.

Without being able to pinpoint the reason, Edward was suddenly crying, an overflow of tears cascading down his features as he cried out into the empty room. The memories began to flood his mind... but they were so hazy... He couldn't even make out what was happening in the blurred remembrances.

Releasing an angry cry of frustration, the Fullmetal Alchemist began to struggle desperately against his restraint, gritting his teeth against the pain. Steadily, almost escaping his notice, the thick rope stained a deep shade of crimson as the raw skin began to blister and break with the force of his endeavor, his right shoulder joint flopping uselessly against the mattress. His breath came in sharp, short gasps as drops of his own blood began to drip, mockingly, onto his lips and cheek.

The universe was taunting him... that much he was certain of. For the first time in his life, he was genuinely _afraid. _Everything around him... was foreign. The calming honeydew walls and gently wafting lace curtains, the silk sheets below him, even the soft, pink ribboned scars decorating his torso, fresh from his latest battle, were not his own. How could they be when he couldn't even discern where they had come from in the first place?

It was as though he was walking through a thick fog, going nowhere but in circles. Each time he thought he was getting closer to the answer, that which he was searching for would simply vanish from view and he would be left alone...

_Alone... he was alone._

And, yet, he could have sworn that, somewhere in the disheveled pile of his memories, he had seen Al's armored form beside him... His baby brother, trapped forever in a _humanoid tin can. _Fresh tears leaked from his eyes as he thought of his brother... of Alphonse... living, day-by-day, with the burden of Edward's mistake.

_I'm so sorry, Al... please, I promise I'll bring you back. I'll make it up to you... Just... please... come back to me._

Edward lie on the strange bed, completely still, for as long as it took him to remember what had happened to his little brother... where he had gone... His pupils danced behind his closed eyelids, as though the inside of their coverings would give him all the answers he needed to find. Slowly, deliberately, the images flashing through his mind gradually sharpened and crystallized before fading into the haze once more... frustrating the young alchemist to an unbelievable extent.

Growling, Edward grit his teeth together sharply and desperately tried to slow his breathing... instantly feeling his muscles relax in his dream-like state. As if he were in a trance, the events replayed hesitantly in his mind's eye and he was suddenly standing outside his body, watching from the distance, on the eve of his death.

Reality descended upon him, chilling him to his very core as his eyelids were thrust back open with a start, his limbs and torso covered with a blanket of cold sweat and trembling violently at his remembrance.

_I... I... died?_

Each tear which cascaded down his cheek caused his body to jerk furiously with the resurfacing of another image in his mind, brought to the forefront of his consciousness by his sorrow. As intent as he had been to remember that night... the one which had separated Alphonse from himself and had landed him in this unfamiliar setting... he now wanted it all to just disappear. The memories which consistently brought him back to the ballroom, had caused something inside of him to break entirely, causing his mind to shut down everything in his body which wasn't required to keep the boy alive.

Silently... he lay there. The only thing he could hear was his own breath escaping his lips in soft, short bursts. The only thing he could feel was the steady drumming of his heart in each of his large arteries, the one in his neck throbbing especially painfully against his throat.

But what he _saw... _was not the pastel painted walls; not the high ceiling above him, seeming as high as the tallest mountain top... but his memories. Flooding through him like water breaking through a dam... filling him, tormenting him... _consuming_ him.

He watched as his own body fell from Envy's blade. Envy... who had shown Edward his true face... the face which had the likeness of his father: the man who had left them behind. He watched as his brother, lying in the center of the transmutation circle, stood, shaking with the emotion overtaking him, and walked to Edward's dying form with determination radiating from the suit of armor. He watched as his body, now completely devoid of his soul, was lifted into his brother's trembling arms, leather gloves tracing over his brother's features in a way which can only be described as complete desolation...

And, finally, he watched on as Alphonse decisively used the Philosopher's Stone to bring Edward's soul back from the Gate.

There was no question in his mind that, even though the stone _had _done it's job (unless Edward was somehow in Hell, after all)... his doting brother hadn't stayed long enough to see the Fullmetal Alchemist's chest begin to rise and fall with the return of life to his body. Though Alphonse had always been the optimistic brother of the two, Edward knew that sticking around, if only to try to convince himself that the elder _was _alive, wasn't something Al would have done...

Despite the fact that the younger Elric was still a child and, therefore, naive in many ways, Alphonse had never warmed up to the idea of fooling yourself into believing that the impossible was possible. The brothers had each read the same books all those years ago. They both knew that, even with the Philosopher's stone, human transmutation still remained an inconceivable science. Edward had discussed the topic with his brother a few months ago, lamenting over the fact that, even if they _did_ manage to find the stone and use it to return Alphonse to normal, there was no guarantee that it would work... And so had begun Al's quest to repair Edward's body first and foremost: a persistent argument which neither of them ever won.

As he decidedly gave one last vigorous tug on the ropes which held him, a clicking resounded from the door to his left, causing his movements to still and breathing to all but stop. Eyes wide and focused in alarm, Edward Elric could do nothing to defend himself as the hallway door swung open in one fluid motion, baring the young boy to the horrors his captors had in store for him...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Major Edward Elric

_May 18, 1941_

**"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.**

**Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."**

**Carl Jung **

The heavy wooden door swung open, creaking dramatically as the base of its frame scraped across the worn floorboards. Without any hesitation, the restrained boy flopped his head back onto the bed and scrunched his eyes tightly together, praying that his captor would mistake him for being asleep and let him alone.

But Edward Elric, being who he was, never had luck on his side.

Soon, the putrid scent of burning flesh and pine filled his nostrils, causing his eyes to water and breath to catch in his throat.

"Why are you pretending, Edward?" The boy breathed in his ear, jerking Ed's eyes wide in trepidation. "Is it because you think I won't notice your heart racing in your chest? Silly boy, I can practically taste your fear and pain... And, oh, you can not imagine how good it feels on my tastebuds!"

Edward arched his back from the bed, lunging for Wrath's throat as the boy danced away less-than-gracefully with his still-marred skin covering half of his body and new auto mail limbs clanking noisily with his movements. Seething, Edward replaced his back atop the sheets, having come to the realization that moving so suddenly had not been the smartest course of action for his recovering body. His head swam, blood pounding furiously in his ears as he struggled to push down the rising bile in his throat, feeling momentarily nauseous from the pain racing through his protesting muscles.

The mattress groaned in disapproval as the weight of another was added to its surface, situating themselves on Edward's right-hand side.

"So, Pipsqueak, how're you feeling this beautiful morning?" Envy called out to him, as though he were an elderly man who was hard of hearing. Biting back a cry of discomfort emanating from the large scar adorning his torso, Edward simply laughed in response.

Frowning at the Fullmetal Alchemist's modest level of functioning, the Homunculus balled up his raised fist and brought it back down squarely on the boy's most prominent injury. Edward's mouth flung open wide in a silent scream, tears springing to the corners of his eyes as he saw stars. The agony that was coursing through him was worse than any pain he could have ever imagined and it must have been several minutes before his lungs were able to once more process the air flowing in and out of his body.

When the young alchemist was finally able to think straight with the renewed oxygen flowing into his brain, he managed to flash a weak grimace in the creature's direction, briefly noting the rusty taste filling his mouth.

"You'd better watch yourself there, Tiny. Your brother dearest may have stitched up your outsides, but even with the Philosopher's Stone, he couldn't manage to fix you up internally. And after all your brother sacrificed..."

Envy's words struck something deep within the youth, shock radiating from every feature of his being as the implication behind the Homunculus's remark descended upon him.

"Al... Where is he, you Bastard?!" The Elric boy cried out desperately, drops of blood flying from his lips, eyes frantically searching Envy's pale back as if, somehow, Alphonse was hidden beneath the flesh. Much to his outrage, the green-haired creature calmly stood from the bed, retracing his steps to the door he entered from, lazily waving a hand behind him with the simple reply of, "gone".

"Envy!" The whimper was no louder than a whisper of wind but, at the falter in his steps, Edward knew the Homunculus had heard it. Back turned to the hostage on the bed, Envy abruptly came to a stop mere inches from the door.

"You _really_ want to know, Ed-_kun_?" He questioned, placid eyes turning over a shoulder to glance at the human behind him. The widening of Edward's tear-filled eyes was the only response Envy received, taking the boys silence in affirmation. With a sigh, the pale being turned once more to face his captive, one hand placed delicately on the door knob, the other resting indolently on his hip bone.

"Fine. If you _really _want to know, I suppose I have no right to keep it from you... He _was_ your brother, after all..." Edward started at the reference to Alphonse in the past tense, but said nothing as Envy continued. "As you lay dying, he took you in his arms and insisted on bringing your soul back from the Gate... despite our warnings. He should have listened. Your fool of a sibling had _no inkling _how to even use the Stone... let alone perform human transmutation with it! The Stone, as we had predicted, reacted violently against your brother's alchemy... bringing you back, yes... but taking him in your place."

Edward bit back his sobs, not even bothering to hide the tears which now freely fell down his face. His sorrow filled his very soul, the pain of his loss almost completely destroying him.

"You're... you're lying! You son of a bitch! You're lying!" The Fullmetal Alchemist's anguish echoed through the chamber, resonating back to him with an equal amount of grief as he had put into it.

"No matter what you choose to believe, Pipsqueak... It will never change the fact that your brother is gone, and that you are our new _plaything._" His words were abruptly followed by the slamming of the door.

But Edward knew he wasn't alone...

Dante had stood in the corner of the room from the beginning, watching on as Envy and Wrath had elicited the boy's sorrow, forcing him to believe their every word. And why shouldn't he? He had no one left to turn to... only her and her Homunculi... They would be his family now.

Knowing that the teenager on the bed could sense her presence, Dante resigned herself to stepping from the shadows and acknowledging him.

"Edward..." He refused to face her, knowing very well that this monster was his reason for being here. Silently, Dante strode over to the bed, gliding her finger tips over the soft sheets as she edged closer to her prize. She sat down beside him, casually leaning over and pressing herself flush against the contours of Edward's body as she bent to whisper in his ear.

"Do you remember what I told you back in the ballroom?" Bewildered, the boy's eyes widened in terror and his breathing became suddenly labored, knowing full well what she was referring to. He screwed his eyes tightly together as Dante removed her weight from the bed to discard her robe, the only article of clothing she had been wearing. With a groan, Edward felt her body heat return to his proximity, and he breathed instead through his mouth, refusing to smell the acrid scent of her decaying body.

Her lips found his, and his eyes flew open in protest and disapproval as Dante's tongue snaked its way inside of his mouth. He could feel her lips smile against his as the slimy muscle traced over his molars to taste the remnants of Edward's blood still lingering there...

The Fullmetal Alchemist had half a mind to bite down hard so that she could settle for the taste of her own blood instead, but realized that doing so wouldn't get him anywhere. Nothing would. No matter how he contorted his body to try to get away from the woman, he was utterly and completely... helpless. Tied up and prepared to be used by her, as her...

Edward swallowed hard... He truly _was_ Dante's new plaything_..._

_"What a shame. I was looking forward to entering this girl's body, and making love to Hohenheim's son..."_

Feeling a new wave of tears pressing against his eyelids, the woman above him smiled victoriously as Edward quietly began to break down. Slowly, she began removing his pants and underwear, teasing him, preparing him further for the act which was to come. His clothes soon joined her robe on the floor, and he quickly clamped his thighs together, feeling exposed and unnerved by her lustful gaze, raking across his naked form. With an audible gulp, Edward struggled desperately against her hands which searched to pry his legs apart, whimpering up at her pathetically as they accomplished their goal.

Against his will, his body began to react to her touch and he shivered reluctantly as her nails traced a pathway from his jawline to the hardening organ between his legs, which had involuntarily opened up further to grant her better access. For the first time in his life, Edward ultimately surrendered to his vulnerability, allowing Dante to dominate him and take his innocence... the only thing he had left in this world...

**%%%%%%%**

Long after the woman beside him had succumbed to unconsciousness, Edward Elric lay there, wondering just how much hatred their God could possibly possess for one small boy from Resembool.


	8. Chapter 8

**YAAAAAYYYY! Frequent updates are loooovvvveeeee! (And so are reviewwwsss!)**

Chapter 8

General Roy Mustang

_May 19, 1941_

**"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been!"**

**-John Greenleaf Whittier **

Guilt.

That was the emotion he had seen, flickering in Riza's eyes, before they had escaped from the hospital. The exact reason for causing such an emotion to fill the Lieutenant, General Mustang could not fathom... but it was guilt nonetheless.

He had first seen the emotion in her brown eyes on the eve of her father's death, blaming herself for his fate, which she could have done nothing to prevent. Then, again, in the crumbling land of Ishbal; her expression had been worn and tired, bags surfacing under her eyes from the horror she had experienced throughout the war... the face of a killer. At that time, the fault she had burdened herself with had been almost overpowering...

But not even the shame he had seen during the war could rival the magnitude he had seen in the hospital and, he couldn't help but wonder, what event could have possibly triggered it?

Over the past week, he had attempted to extract the information from his subordinate, even _demanding _she explain her emotions at one point after he had become exceedingly frustrated... but nothing had worked. Riza bottled up her reasoning behind the guilt she felt like a toxic illness that could contaminate all of Amestris if she were to release it.

Mustang hadn't had an overwhelming amount of time to focus on Hawkeye and her emotions, as the week had kept him busy: searching, constantly searching for some sort of clue that could lead him to the Elric brothers. Increasingly, he became bitter at the thought of never finding any leads... of course, the Lieutenant was doing her best to assist him but, every so often, when the General would absentmindedly play with the eyepatch covering his left eye, or reach up to idly massage his shoulders, Riza would become lost in thought and stop all work immediately. The guilt tainting her expression was always the hardest for Roy to watch...

After this continued, time and time again, the General finally decided that her mood swings had gone on for long enough, and confronted her. As they sat in the Central library, eyes flying wildly over each individual page, searching for something hidden within them that would have set the Fullmetal Alchemist off on his abrupt chase, he absentmindedly played with the scarred tissue marring the area around his eyepatch and heard Riza stand abruptly beside him.

Sighing, he temporarily shut the large history encyclopedia he'd been reading and followed after his subordinate as she hurriedly disappeared around the corner.

"Lieutenant!" Mustang's voice echoed throughout the nearly empty library, which was silent, per usual. The corner of his mouth threatened to turn upward at the startled jolt which a young private failed to suppress not two bookshelves down from where he stood.. Hawkeye stopped in her tracks, the impatient tone lacing his voice evident among other such emotions.

"Lieutenant..." Roy began again, once he was sure he could hold her attention, "the guilt I see in your eyes, day after day, it's... it's because of what happened to me, isn't it?" Riza turned a shoulder to face him and searched his guarded frame with pained eyes.

"Sir..."

"Answer the question, Riza!" His angered voice reflected all the pain and guilt which she felt and immediately startled her as it breathed her first name... even if they were in a casual setting with the intimacy of just the two of them, the most endearing title Mustang would relent to call her was her surname. To hear him address her so... unusually... was, in every sense of the word, unsettling.

"I couldn't protect you... You almost _died_ that day, all because I was too late."

"But I didn't." He countered sullenly. Not only had his suspicions been confirmed by his most loyal Lieutenant, but he had also learned that the guilt hadn't dissipated any in the past few days. The honey irises rolled up towards the ceiling before Riza Hawkeye ultimately averted her eyes, refusing to meet the stern gaze of her superior.

"Riza..." he tried, fighting the urge to adjust the scratchy black patch covering his eye. "Lieutenant, look at me, please." The reluctant woman met his midnight eyes and huffed a little, knowing full well where this conversation was leading. Roy quickly grabbed her left wrist, pulling her closer to him, and stared determinedly into her eyes, daring her to look away.

"I'm here. I'm not in the hospital fighting for my life, I'm not some vegetable... I can breathe, move, and speak on my own, and that's thanks to you." She opened her mouth in protest, but Mustang quickly cut her off. "We both know Archer wouldn't have stopped where he did... even if he thought I was dead... if you hadn't shown up. You saved me, Hawkeye. You were there in time... and I owe you my life for that."

The woman before him sniffled a little, showing an emotion- a side of her- which Roy had never before seen. It was unnerving and comforting all at the same time and so he ghosted his fingers up to her shoulder before giving it a light squeeze.

"I'm here, Riza... And I need to know that you'll still have my back, no matter what we face from here on out." The General smiled gently at his subordinate, meeting her honey gaze with his own. "Will you follow me?" The smile was returned after a pause, and Hawkeye snapped her heels together before saluting the officer.

"Straight into Hell, if you so desired, Sir."

"That's what I like to hear, Lieutenant." And when Mustang strode back to continue his work, she followed him without prompt.

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He was growing increasingly frustrated with the tediousness of this labor and began (not for the first time) to wonder how the sixteen year old alchemist managed to research for hours, even _days_, on end without rest. It was infuriating and the General slammed the halves of the overwhelmingly sized literature shut with a low growl when he discovered that he had read the exact same sentence repeatedly for over ten minutes. The information just wasn't sinking in. It wasn't registering.

If the sharp wrinkle in his Lieutenant's brow was any indication of her own progress, then this library was in immediate danger of being burned to the ground.

"Nothing." Hawkeye suddenly spoke, snapping the notes shut to emphasize her point. "There's absolutely nothing here that has been of any help in finding those boys, and I don't believe that we will be finding anything useful anytime soon." Mustang rubbed the white gloves over his eyes, ignoring the faint burn which rose on his eyelids from the rough texture of the cloth, and sighed loudly.

"What do you propose that we do, Hawkeye?" He practically wailed. "No one has any goddamn clue where those boys are and I'm not willing to just sit mindlessly when it's possible... and very likely, that they could be in danger." The blonde seemed to deliberate for a breath, before walking to the space behind the General.

"The last place we saw Edward was by the riverfront, isn't that right?" He glanced up at her, but her eyes were to the library window, absentmindedly staring at the outside world. Roy placed his head in his hands and ran them back and forth across his face and hair, tousling the midnight locks.

"Yes, Lieutenant, you are correct."

"Then that's where we'll begin." His eyes snapped open at the woman's suddenness and Mustang sharply stood from his seat and turned to face his subordinate. The onyx irises were filled with an inner fire which screamed desperation and exhaustion.

"You think we're just going to find the boy skipping rocks across the water? He's probably long gone by now and, based on the fact that he was hard enough to find when he was running from Liore, I doubt he's left behind any clues as to where he went!" At a stern glare from the librarian, Roy lowered his voice and leaned back against the wooden surface of the table. "Those Elrics are becoming a real pain in my ass..."

"And, yet, you do so much for them..." The General raised his eyes from the carpeted floor and looked at his Lieutenant, who was gazing down sympathetically at the tired man. Of course, they were both exhausted. After days of looking through the stacks of books at Central Library, combined with that lack of sleep and desperation to find the missing brothers, it was no wonder their energy was completely spent. Roy sighed.

"As I said before, I'm the one who started them on their journey looking for a way to restore their bodies... It's my fault that they're in this mess... It's my responsibility to help them out of it. I'll do whatever it takes." A long bout of silence stretched between the two soldiers and the only sound within the four walls of the building was the occasional shuffling page turn from the young private nearby.

"Sir," Hawkeye began, "I don't think Edward would have gone far from the area where we dropped him off." Unconsciously, Mustang huffed and crossed his arms and ankles, placing his full weight on the table top.

"And why's that?" He lifted his gaze to the hardened blonde in front of him, rearranging his body into a more comfortable position under her scrutiny.

"Well... He asked us for a ride, didn't he?" The superior nodded, politely waiting for her to continue. "Why would he want to be dropped off any further than walking distance from where he was headed? It wouldn't make sense..." He quirked a brow.

"And you believe he'd still be there? At the place he was set on going to?" The woman gave a curt nod in affirmation.

"I don't see any reason as to why he would be elsewhere, General. And even if he isn't there, it doesn't hurt to look for leads at the place he disappeared." With a sigh, the Flame Alchemist righted himself and took a small step towards his subordinate, who never faltered under his gaze.

"Well then, Lieutenant, it appears we have ourselves an alchemist to find." He flashed her his signature smile, the one which always made the ladies swoon. Lieutenant Hawkeye was the only exception of this rule. The General gathered the rest of his belongings without breaking eye contact and smirked. "I'll entrust my back to you if it's not too much to ask." Riza snapped into a perfect salute, every inch of her screaming 'model soldier' back at him.

"Of course, Sir. You can count on it."


	9. Chapter 9

**DO NOT READ if you don't like YAOI, NON-CON, or TORTURE! This has been your ONE and ONLY warning! The remainder of this story will be gore galore! XD**

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**SERIOUSLY, TURN BACK NOW.**

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**I'M WARNING YOU. STOP.**

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**REALLY?! YOU STILL WANT IT? **

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**FINE. IDIOT.**

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Chapter 9

Major Edward Elric

_May 19, 1941_

**"But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning." **

**- Hakuri Murakami****_, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles_**

His nose itched. Of all the things in the world that could be bothering and mocking him in this most dismal and hopeless of situations, the universe had placed the responsibility solely on his nose. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to subdue the annoyance which was slowly overpowering his every sense, but he contended against the urges knowing that he had no other option but to let the sensation fester and spread.

Edward Elric was a complete and utter mess. Despite the fact that he had been _raped_ the night before, Envy had been sure to give him a nice reminder of his insignificance in the world by dealing him a rather raw beating after the child had regained consciousness, at which point, he had _also_ informed the young alchemist that he had "lost" Edward's clothing. The boy was left alone, naked and shivering in an unlit corner of the large room he had been moved to sometime during the night.

That was how he had been roused from sleep, early this morning, before the sun itself had even risen from the horizon: with the impact of Envy's fist on his right cheekbone, sending him reeling. Feeling dazed and utterly confused by his changed surroundings and by the fact that his head had collided with the stone sometime immediately following the punch, Edward struggled to see straight as the blows continued to reign down on his recovering body.

If he had to describe Hell to anyone in the world, that morning would have been the very description he'd have used... With the Homunculus's superior strength, Edward could feel each of his ribs crack and shatter upon the impact of Envy's fist on his torso. Though he tried to struggle and place himself beyond the creature's reach, the soreness he continued to feel from the previous night's events left him breathless any time he made the simplest of moves. And so he was left at the mercy of the Homunculus... and eventually fainted from the pain.

Hours later, he regained consciousness, and released a sigh of relief upon discovering that he was, indeed, alone. Upon conducting a surface examination of his tender body, Edward concluded that he had a few cases of non-worrisome internal bleeding around his ribcage and right leg. He also found nearly all of his ribs to be damaged in some way, and determined the broken bones to be the cause of his internal bleeding on his torso.

His leg, however, was another story. Virtually, every inch of skin on the alchemist's tanned limb was now a revolting shade of purple or blue, darkening as they came closer to the source.

The sight, alone, made Edward want to scream.

The lower half of his right leg, once normal, was now angled perpendicular to Edward's thigh, with the knee collapsing in on itself where Envy had brought his foot down on it with all the force he could muster. The bone, a pearly whiteness visible atop the dark indigo flesh, had protruded so far from the outer casing of his kneecap that it was now scraping against the bound auto mail on his opposite leg. A cold sweat broke out all over his body as he stared at his deformed limb and the Fullmetal Alchemist suddenly began retching onto the floor beside him, his body screaming in opposition as his broken ribs began to shift with the heaving of his stomach.

Thankfully, his mangled knee wasn't bleeding in excess so he knew he'd be safe for a while, but the fact that one of his arms was completely _gone_ and the other was restrained high above his head gave him the overwhelming feeling of helplessness which he just couldn't handle.

For the first time, in a very long time, Edward began to cry... What else could he do?

He was cold; he was alone; he was hungry; and his nose _itched._ Not to mention the fact that his wrist and ankles had been tied in a manner such that his back was scraping against the stony wall no matter what angle he forced it into. The blood from the many scratches along his spine and broken ribcage ran freely down his back and mixed together with the already-drying, red liquid staining the floor beneath him.

The tears which escaped him weren't violent or harsh, but silent. The soft liquid streamed down Edward's face continuously without a single utterance from the boy. Refusing to think about any one thing in particular, knowing it would only lead to self-pity, the Fullmetal Alchemist focused on staring at the redness which perpetually flowed away from his bruising body, wishing more than anything to just float away with it.

The creaking of the staircase across the room snapped his attention away from his own injuries, and his eyes lifted slowly to meet the eyes of the Homunculus now standing before him. Seething, his anger grabbed ahold of him and Edward furiously jerked his head away from the malicious creature, choosing instead to scowl at the wall.

"What is it that you want now, Envy?" The loaded question barely slipped through his tightly grit teeth, and the alchemist was startled when he heard a laugh emitted from the place just in front of him and he suddenly whirled around to come face to face with the monster himself.

"Dante-san told me that it was my turn to have my fun with you, Edward-kun." The creature grinned at him, violet eyes portraying a hunger which rested deep within his being... A hunger which hadn't yet scared the young boy until this very moment when he was forced to stare the Homunculus dead in the eyes. The hunger frightened him... For it wasn't a normal emotion to see in Envy's eyes.

Startled as the Homunculus drove Edward's left forearm into the stone wall, the Fullmetal Alchemist attempted to kick at his assailant, temporarily forgetting that his ankles were tightly bound. As the boy's body jerked violently with the force of his willed attack, the bones in his right leg gave a sickening crunch, causing a pained shriek to escape Ed's lips and tears to spring to the wide eyes.

"My-my, Chibi. If you had tried this hard back then, you might have been able to save your brother." Edward gasped sharply at the accusation, gritting his teeth hard against the pain in his leg. Envy's violet eyes gleamed in the darkness as his smirk fell into a serious expression. "I guess you didn't care about him as much as you thought."

"Shut up! Don't think for a second that you know anything about me!" Angry tears threatened to escape his eyes but he held them back.

"Oh, but you're Hohenheim's brat so why wouldn't you just abandon family like it was nothing?" That comment caused a large wad of saliva to be launched into the homunculus' eye.

"You don't know anything! I'm nothing like him!" Envy drove his knee into the alchemists abdomen, effectively removing the air from Edward's lungs by doing so. Tears sprang to his eyes, but this time, Edward had no strength left to contain them. The hot liquid spilled down the planes of his cheeks as his body slumped to the ground, the chain around his wrist being the only thing holding him against the stone wall. Suddenly, the green haired devil leaned over Edward's shaking frame, pressing his body close to the younger boy's and whispering maliciously in his ear:

"If it wasn't true then it wouldn't bother you so much." Edward opened his mouth wide in mid-protest, eyes flashing dangerously with rage. Seizing the opportunity, the Homunculus stuffed his hand inside of the alchemist's mouth, depositing a small green capsule at the back of Edward's throat. Feeling his gag reflex kicking in, the blonde struggled beneath the creature above him and swallowed hard, reluctantly taking the pill into his stomach. Envy sat back with a smirk, retreating his arm back from inside Edward's mouth and chuckling in malice as the boy began to convulse around him, the drug already beginning to gain control of Edward's stomach.

Envy took his chance to wrap the young alchemist in a searing kiss, thrusting his tongue deep down Edward's throat. Despite the pain which now radiated through his body, Edward continued to buck and thrash about in Envy's grip as the creature ran possessive fingers down and around his abdomen. Through the abusive kiss, Edward managed to gasp and cry out his objection:

"Envy! No!... Please... Stop this!... Stop!" Envy growled and pushed away from the boy, briefly slapping him primitively before hotly spitting on his face.

"Shut up, chibi-san! I can't work with that annoying mouth of yours running all the time!" With the outburst, came searing pain shooting through Ed's body, forcing his mouth open in a silent scream as Envy pressed his full weight down onto the boy's injured knee. His vision swam and flashed interchangeably between the room and total blackness.

"Consider that a warning, pet. Talk some more if you want to see what I can really do to you!" Edward only released the most pitiful of whimpers in response, and so Envy continued his work down the blonde's torso, dipping his tongue down into the hollow of the boy's throat and using the muscle to trace over his veins. Each touch caused Edward to shiver involuntarily and he continued to try to jerk away from the persistent hands of his attacker, slowly winding lower and lower down his body...

Until they finally reached their prize...

Letting out a strangled cry of shock and disgust, which was muffled by the return of Envy's mouth, Edward writhed and gasped as the creature's lithe fingers began to probe his entrance, thankfully ignoring Edward's still-sore member. Beginning with two, Envy smirked as he thrust his fingers in and out of the young boy, refusing him the comfort of lubricant. No... that would never do... Envy wanted to see the alchemist tremble and scream beneath him. Without allowing Edward any time at all to adjust to the intruding fingers, the Homunculus quickly added a third, mercilessly digging the digits into his depths and relishing in the sheer joy of watching the evidence of his enemy's pain flow onto his fingers, staining them crimson.

"You're mine, Edward-kun. And after I'm finished with you, no one will ever want you." Envy's hot breath was in his ear, surrounding him, choking him, as his lower half completely radiated pain... It was all making him dizzy. He didn't even feel Envy placing himself greedily at his entrance, looking over Edward's disorientation with complete satisfaction before roughly thrusting himself into the warmth.

Back arching off of the wall, the victim couldn't suppress the scream which tore from his throat. He had thought the fingers had been horrible, but this!... It felt as though his entire body was being split in half! The pain spread throughout him without end, destroying his whole world as Envy began to thrust deep within him.

"N... no! Please! Envy!" The outburst did not go unpunished and, in fact, Envy had been waiting for it. The creature halted his motions before deftly impaling his left hand inside the boy's diaphragm, grabbing hold of two ribs and yanking them from Edward's convulsing body. The scream which echoed in the room was reward enough for the Homunculus and he resumed thrusting inside of him, increasing his pace and ferocity ten-fold, screaming down at his captive as he reveled in the pleasure the tight warmth granted him.

"Did I not warn you, you stupid boy?!" Envy shouted over Edward's hysterical sobbing. "You belong to me! The faster you learn that, the easier your life will seem!" Angrily, he flipped the blonde onto his stomach, shoving Edward's face into the stone wall and causing the boy's legs to cross over one another and painfully dig the auto mail into his broken knee. With a grip that was sure to leave lasting bruises, Envy lifted Edward's hips off of the floor and, once more, buried himself to the hilt within the screaming teenager.

The homunculus wouldn't last much longer, Edward sensed through the pain. His vision was steadily blurring with the blood loss and tears, and his throat was incredibly hoarse from screaming. But screaming was the only thing that didn't seem to bring him any additional pain from his assailant... And so Edward continued to scream.

He screamed when Envy bit down on his left shoulder as he reached his climax. He screamed when Envy pulled his now flaccid member, dripping with blood, from his anus. He screamed when he accidentally breathed his brothers name, in sheer delusion, and earned another, much more violent, round with the Homunculus. He even screamed two hours after Envy had left the room, finally satisfied with his work on the young State Alchemist.

He still screamed long after his voice had left him, leaving him only with strangled whispers to release into the emptiness of his room. Because, you see, no one was there with him this time. There was no one left in his life to hear his screams of agony... to even care.

_Dante leaned in close to him as her hips ground tightly against his, earning a shudder of pleasure mixed with disgust from the young alchemist. _

_"Your brother died trying to save you," she whispered in his ear, tongue darting out to trace the hollow of it as she continued to impale herself on him. "His death was terrible, Edward... When he came back from the gate, he had managed to repossess his own body as well as your soul, but of course... equivalent exchange..._

_"They took his flesh, young Elric... stripped the skin clean off of his young body. Sadly, he bled out before he had even made it completely out of the gateway, and there was nothing we could do for the boy... All because you were too weak to take Envy out when you had the chance... All because of you... Your fault..."_

_My fault._

For the first time in his life, Edward Elric allowed his loneliness to finally consume him.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: You're going to hate me after this chapter…..**

**I CAN'T WAIT! :D**

Chapter 10

Major Edward Elric

_May 23, 1941_

**"Hating people is like burning down your house to kill a rat."**

**-Henry Fosdick**

Edward Elric was notorious for his ravenous eating habits and his overwhelming appetite. He was sure that the entire population of Amestris knew better than to stand between him and a plate of food, and Edward was actually proud of that fact. Though, now, as he stared down his torso and scowled at the way his stomach appeared to cave in on itself, broken ribs prominent through his stretched skin, he realized how terrible his eating habits had been for his health.

His stomach, small as it was, was accustomed to being stretched to its full capacity three times (or more, if possible) everyday for the entirety of the teenager's life. So, for Edward to be denied any form of nutrition for _six_ whole days was the worst kind of torture for him. His body had begun to use up its stored energy much more quickly than the average person and now he was literally withering away. Though, Edward supposed, maybe it was for the best. After all, if he was dead, he wouldn't be forced to suffer any longer.

And he would be able to see Alphonse again..

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He knew that Dante and her homunculi wouldn't allow him to die. They would push him to his limits, making him pass out from exhaustion or blood loss, before brutally reviving him. They even went so far as to, one day, give him a blood transfusion, which had apparently been stolen from the Central Hospital, when it seemed his heart wouldn't be able to recover from the loss.

In the time he had been in this hellish place, the young alchemist had attempted to take his own life a total of four times... each time being thwarted by his captors... and Edward had finally realized that they were constantly watching him through a video camera hung high on the wall, and that nothing he did would escape their notice. As a result, his attempts had grown more rushed. From his first time (ripping out the crude stitches on his right leg in hopes of slowly bleeding to death) to his last time (hitting his head repeatedly on a nail jutting out from the wall behind him), Edward had become a master at searching for ways out of his life. The blonde knew that his mother and Alphonse must be looking down on him with pity and disgust... he knew they wouldn't approve of his "methods"... but he was so tired, and he was in so much pain.

All he wanted was to sleep... That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

Of course, his leg had long ago become infected, and he was in constant pain from the broken ribs scraping against his internal organs (maybe if he arranged his body _just_ right, one of them would be able to pierce his heart)... but the current source of his pain was the result of his hunger. Edward wasn't an idiot. He knew how starvation worked: the body would use up the stored fats inside of him, before beginning to eat away at itself, the muscles being the first to go with the organs following shortly after. Then, of course, there would be nothing left inside of the body but the vital organs: heart, lungs, brain.. Once those began to deteriorate, it was lights out for good. And with the drastically freezing temperature of the room, so cold that his own blood would freeze to the floor once spilled from his body, the process of Edward's death was sure to be drawn out, painfully so..

... But, Edward should have known better than to think that his captors would allow that to happen.

A soft humming broke the silence of the dark room, and a dull _thumping_ sound emitted from the very same direction. From the doorway at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the ground floor, Envy emerged, a playful gleam shining in his violet eyes as he practically skipped across the room to the young alchemist, dropping his cargo carelessly on the floor behind him. Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste as he surveyed the grinning homunculus, and flinched in disgust as a cold hand was placed beneath his jaw.

"Dinner time, chibi-san." The alchemist's head jerked up, staring at the green-haired devil with wide eyes, praying that the creature wouldn't be so cruel as to tease him with the promise of food. Envy smirked and pat the boy's right cheek a few times before slapping the surface lightly with his open hand, causing Edward's head to jerk to the side.

"You'll behave yourself, won't you Pipsqueak? You need to eat, and surely you wouldn't refuse food..." Edward shook his head, slightly glaring at the homunculus. The anger he felt in his body for the creature was suppressed by the urge to control himself. The hunger was painfully overwhelming, so much so that tears of joy had begun to roll down his cheeks at the very thought of food.

"Good. Wouldn't want to have to force you to eat, now would we?" Envy chuckled as he walked away, and Edward suppressed a shudder of fear at the thought of the creature leaving without feeding him first. However, true to his promise, Envy stayed, stooping down to toss the package on the floor over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before returning to Edward and dropping the bag in front of him.

Then, he knelt down and slowly began to peel back the covering, revealing Edward's meal..

With a start of horror, Edward gagged and began to scream.

The long black hair fanned out around the young girl's face, appearing as some sort of dark halo. Her eyes were opened wide in fear, and Edward assumed they must have once been a lovely shade of green, before being obscured and clouded into a milky hazel-grey. The skin around her face was pale, the blood having been long ago drained from the once rosy cheeks and matching pink lips, now white in death, and Edward released a quiver at the stench which filled the room.

He couldn't discern how long she had been dead... he wasn't a pathologist, after all... but from the stench of decay and the discoloration of her skin and grown out fingernails, he estimated that it had at least been a month. He swallowed back the rising bile in his throat.

Wordlessly, Envy transformed his finger into a sharp blade, before lowering it to the dead girl's torso and slicing off a large slab of meat. Old, rusty brown blood languidly seeped from the wound and Edward once again felt tears pricking at the corners his eyes. Suddenly, the homunculus thrust the removed flesh in front of the alchemist's face.

"Eat it." The golden eyes went wide in horror and he resisted the urge to throw up. Instead, he chose to launch a wad of saliva in Envy's eyes.

"Fuck you." He had momentarily forgotten the ever-present 'no talking' rule, and unconsciously braced himself for any sort of impact.

"Hmm.. maybe later, chibi," the smiling creature replied with a wink, causing Edward to shudder. "For now, though, you need to keep up your strength." He once again shoved the slab of human flesh under the blonde's nose, overloading Edward's brain with the smell of decay.

"Come on, Edo... It's not nearly as bad as it seems, I promise..." The boy twisted his head far away from the scene before him and shut his eyes, refusing to look at the homunculus or his so-called 'meal'. "Either you eat it by choice, or I make it into your punishment for talking..."

His eyes shot open. Either way he knew he would be forced to eat the disgusting, rotten meat of his own kind... but if Envy were to make eating it a punishment... Edward could only imagine what the homunculus would force him to do, and his body trembled involuntarily at the thought of being put through something similar to yesterday's 'game' (as Envy so often referred to them as). It was simple, or so Dante had explained to him. She would ask him a question, and he would answer them to the best of his ability. Each time he answered incorrectly, one of his fingers would be broken..

Naturally, he had gotten every single question wrong, and the crazy bitch had gone so far as to actually _rip off _his ring finger and stick it in his mouth until he mustered up enough strength to spit it back out.

He had been forced to lay there for an hour afterwards, with his back scraping up harshly against the wall, and listen to the steady _drip_-ing of the blood from his missing phalange as it fell onto the crown of his head. The blood had begun to mat the alchemist's blonde hair, and Envy had actually complimented Edward's new look before bandaging up his hand and knocking him unconscious.

Envy's "punishment" could only be worse than yesterday's, Edward mused. His wound still throbbed from the pain, and subconsciously, the alchemist knew his body couldn't handle another of his captors 'games' at the current time...

... So he gave in.

Reluctantly, Edward's jaw dropped down an inch, and Envy smirked maliciously before shoving the meat inside of the alchemist's mouth. The slimy coating on the skin mixed with the old blood and layered Edward's mouth in the substance, trails of the liquid seeping down his esophagus and into his stomach which then retched in order to rid his body of the material.

"Chew." Edward wordlessly followed the homunculus's instructions, trying desperately to ignore the repulsive _squelch-_ing sounds the rotten meat made as his incisors made contact with it. The tears began to flow freely down his face, bits of the liquid freezing to his jawline as it solidified in the icy air.

"Swallow it, chibi-san." His jaw paused in it's labor and the golden eyes widened substantially at the demand. Slowly, almost escaping Envy's notice, the blonde alchemist shook his head from side to side, sniffling and hiccuping every so often. Growling, the shape-shifter grabbed the boy's jaw tightly in his hand and drew Edward's face up close to his own. Edward's eyes widened in a mixture of fear and surprise, his leaking tears quickly drying up and stopping altogether.

"Swallow. It." Envy seethed through clenched teeth. "_Now_." After a moments hesitation, Edward screwed his eyes tightly together and choked down the provision, immediately trying to throw it back up once he felt the meat land heavily in his stomach. He knew that he couldn't though... No matter how badly he wanted to vomit, that stupid green pill had done permanent damage to his stomach, effectively keeping everything- _everything- _within the organ once it entered.

Suddenly, Edward was administered a fist into the right side of his ribcage, causing him to gasp and cry out in pain. In reward, a new slab of the corpse's flesh was shoved in his mouth.

"_That_, chibi-san, was for your defiance. Now eat it." Envy wiped off the blood, which had spilled from the alchemist's torso from the punch, on his skirt. Unsurprisingly, the homunculus had aimed to hit the area on Edward's chest from which he had earlier ripped the auto mail port from the skin.

Slumping with his back against the wall, the young alchemist slowly chewed and swallowed the offending product, which was immediately replaced with a third strip and then a forth. Edward continued to do as he was told, feeling the fire inside of him slowly beginning to flicker and die out.

He just wanted to die...


	11. Chapter 11 and AN

**A/N PLEASE READ! **

**I'M SO SORRY! HONESTLY, GUYS, I FEEL SOOOO BAD! LIFE JUST TOTALLY GOT AWAY FROM ME! I can't say that this won't happen again…. (Because, trust me… it will) But know that I am trying my hardest to get ALL of my stories COMPLETED! I AM working on the 'Broken' sequel AND the 'A Father's Love' Sequel and Threequel (oops! did I say that out loud?! XD)**

**Anyway, explanation time: I was accepted into RCAD and seriously had to uproot MY WHOLE F*&#ing life… Moved down to Florida… have no friends… have a BUTTLOAD of homework… and now need to find a JOB!**

**So on top of the amazingly ZERO amount of free time I've had thus far, I will now have LESS!**

**COOL.**

**But I am TRYING guys! I really am! Plus I have Sub.C ready to kick my ass if I don't finish my fics XD Love that chick lol.**

**So here it is, the long awaited Chapter 11. Kinda boring, but needs to be done. Chapter 12 is nearing completion…. but the keyword there is 'IHAVENOFUCKINGFREETIME'….**

**damn it all to hell.**

**Thank you for sticking by me through my hecticness *hugs and kisses to whoever's reading this***

**XOXOXOXOXO!**

**xxTAxx**

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Chapter 11

General Roy Mustang

_June 6, 1941_

**"No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within; paper lanterns among the dark trees."**

**-Carole Borges**

The General knew it was far too early for any sane mortal to even consider being awake... let alone, making breakfast... but, for the moment, it helped to take his mind off of things. Beneath his prodding spatula, the bacon gave a tantalizing hiss and the smell of the meat cooking wafted up to his nostrils. Oddly enough, Mustang wasn't hungry in the least bit... and the aroma of the food actually made his stomach churn and lurch painfully. How could he even _think_ of food at a time like this?

Nearly an entire month had passed since the Elrics' disappearance and the General's mood had gone from slightly put-off to utterly hopeless. What in the world had happened to them? Where could they be? As the warmer weather had rolled across Amestris with the arrival of summer, life had continued to move on. Recently, Mustang had received a call from the northern front with the worst kind of news: he had been discovered. Some brilliant soldier on the front lines had finally put two-and-two together and realized that the "General" in charge was really Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. When questioned, Havoc replied that he had realized Mustang had disappeared and effectively panicked- dressing to look like him to keep the order in the military camp.

In other news, an investigation had begun on the murder of Fuhrer King Bradley, and the entire military appeared to be swarming the city in search of the killer. Roy jumped and swore under his breath as the frying meat spat hot grease at him from the bubbling pan.

Wanted for murder and desertion... At least he would go out with a bang, he thought bitterly.

A soft knock at his front door broke the man out of his thoughts, and he startled at the notion that another person was insane enough to be awake at this early hour. Sighing lazily at the browning strips of bacon, he yelled to his visitor that the door was unlocked and was immediately rewarded by the sound of the front door opening and slamming, accompanied by a soft pair of footfalls on the hardwood floors.

"Ah, just in time! Do you like your eggs runny or hard?" The blonde Lieutenant standing in the doorway jerked at the question. There was a long breath of silence, broken occasionally by the popping and sizzling of bacon.

"Sir... what on earth are you doing?" He glanced over at her briefly before plucking the meat from the frying pan and cracking an egg on the counter.

"Cooking. What did you think I was doing?" Hawkeye chuckled softly as one of the eggs burst open in his hand and splattered across the counter and floor. Since his Lieutenant hadn't given him her response on the preference of breakfast, he decided: _fuck it; scrambled it is... _and began to dump several eggs into a mixing bowl.

"That's exactly what I thought..." Riza supplied, resting her hands on the kitchen table. "I never imagined you as the cooking type.." Roy smirked slightly at that. Just what 'type' _was _he, if not the cooking type?

"Don't get me wrong. I'm no chef," he replied, pouring the soupy concoction into a frying pan whilst attempting to save his burning bacon strips. "It just sometimes helps me to get my mind off of things.." The silence stretched between the two comrades.

"You're still mad at yourself, aren't you?" He shrugged minutely, as though he couldn't be bothered with the question, and focused on taking his anger out on the solidifying eggs.

"There's no point in dwelling on sure things, Hawkeye. I just want to find the boys as quickly as possible and get back to my life."

"There's no reason to hide the fact that you're upset, Sir. It'll only open new wounds." Roy only shook his head in response, before spooning the eggs onto the two plates he had laid out for them. Turning, he silently walked over to the dining table and set the plates down in front of two adjacent chairs, also taking the time to lay out the silverware and orange juice.

"Come. Sit." He announced, motioning to the chair nearest to his Lieutenant and pouring himself a glass of the fruit juice. He smiled to himself as he regarded the beverage. Edward would have been proud.

It seemed like an eternity ago that General Mustang had visited Edward in the hospital while he was nursing a stab wound, only to enter the room and find the brothers in the midst of an all-out war over drinking milk.

Or, as Edward had so tastefully described, "curdled cow secretions".

Since then, Roy had subconsciously distanced himself from the substance, refusing to even keep it in his refrigerator at home... let alone add it to his coffee. Thanks to that blonde fireball, General Mustang now took his coffee black.

"Those brothers are strong, General. I'm sure they're fine... wherever they are." He jolted from his musings at the Lieutenant's break in silence. His shoulders suddenly felt too heavy and he allowed them to slump as he placed his fork and knife down on his plate in sadness.

"And what if they aren't?" Riza glanced up at him, eyebrows knit together in question. "They may be strong, Lieutenant... But that doesn't change the fact that they're still children. They can't be expected to face everything that comes there way. That's what we adults are here for. To protect them when they get caught in a situation that they can't handle by themselves." Roy could distantly hear Edward giving him an earful for calling him a child, and glanced up to watch the woman across from him give a resigned sigh.

"I understand."

Once again, they were returned to their silent breakfast.

The next time the Lieutenant spoke up, all of the eggs had disappeared and only a few strips of bacon remained. Her words were guarded, as though she was dealing with a ticking bomb instead of the man she would gladly lay down her life for.

"This isn't about Alphonse so much as it is about Edward, is it?" General Mustang looked up in confusion and attempted to decipher the meaning behind his companion's statement. When he realized that her stoic expression refused to change or give away any details, he decidedly changed his tactic.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." He supplied, placing his silverware carefully onto the folded napkin beside his plate. Hawkeye sighed and mirrored his actions, placing her utensils down before bothering to speak another word.

"It's undeniable that you feel very protective over the older Elric brother, Sir. Even though you constantly bicker at one another, he's always been someone that you've cared deeply for." Roy reached for his glass of juice, downing the inch-or-so of liquid before clearing his throat in discomfort and setting the Lieutenant with a hard stare.

"Edward is my _subordinate, _Hawkeye. You know I give equal care for each of my men.. I don't give anyone any special privileges or show favoritis-"

"Yes, yes. We're like family to you..." She waved her hand in the air, stopping his protests short. "But maybe you've been denying the fact that Edward is more than that. That you may have unrealized feeli-" Mustang abruptly slapped his palms against the table and stood, glaring at the woman across from him.

"No! No, no, NO!" The skin around his eyepatch furrowed into an ugly scowl, and his remaining eye flashed dangerously. "You have this completely wrong! Where did you even come up with something like that?!" Hawkeye folded her hands neatly in her lap and kept her stoic mask in place.

"It was just an observation, Sir." Breathing heavily, the General regarded her with a look of utter bewilderment. Raising one hand to smooth the bangs away from his face, he sighed and focused his gaze on anything but the woman seated before him.

"Well, it was a pretty shitty one, if you ask me."

"My apologies, General." Wordlessly, the man gathered the two sets of dinnerware in his arms, stacking the cups together and placing the utensils inside, and walked over to the sink. As Hawkeye sat silently at the table, alternating between looking at her hands or out the window, Roy began to scrape the uneaten food into the garbage and pile the dishes into the sink. When no more sounds from the glass plates met her ears, the Lieutenant turned to regard her superior officer only to find him staring out the kitchen window, shoulders haunched and hands resting wide on the counter top.

"Hawkeye?" He nearly whispered, at long last breaking the silence. Keeping her cool composure, as was customary of the woman, Riza didn't spare a breath in her response.

"Yes, Sir?" There was an immediate tension in his shoulders at the sound of his Lieutenant's reply, almost as though Mustang had not expected an answer or hadn't wanted to be heard. The blonde woman watched slowly as the tension began to melt away from his back, quietly counting the minutes of silence which passed. When it was apparent that the raven-haired man no longer had any desire to voice his straggled thoughts, Hawkeye cleared her throat.

"Something on your mind, General?" Slowly, Mustang walked over to the calendar hanging on a nearby cabinet. The First Lieutenant blinked in confusion, wondering what specifically could have caught the General's attention on the object. The man's eyes suddenly turned somber and he ripped his gaze to, once more, look out the window.

"It's been an entire month... They've been gone for so long, I hadn't even realized." He whispered brokenly to the dawning sun. His eyes closed in exasperation, honestly feeling as though the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders. The wooden chair legs protested loudly as they scraped against the tile, signaling the movement of his subordinate. She walked over, and rested an arm on the countertop.

"... We'll find them, Sir. And they'll be perfectly fine when we see them." Mustang hung his head low and felt doubt begin to cloud his mind.

"He's never been gone this long before... Not ever. Even when he ran all the way from Liore to Resembool, he was only out of my sight for a week at the most." He didn't miss the look of sympathy which flashed across his Lieutenant's features. She was too damn observant for her own good. How the hell had she known of his feelings before even he himself?

"He can take care of himself, General. I'm sure he's on a train to Resembool now and just didn't bother to inform us of his return." Roy could have smacked himself in the forehead for being such an airhead! Resembool! Had he honestly scoured every inch of the city, but not even bothered with checking the kids' hometown first?!

"Shit! Why the hell didn't I think of that?!" He instantly made a beeline for the phone hanging on the wall, eyes alight with a new sense of hope and purpose, when the ground was ripped out from beneath him.

"You never called the Rockbells?" The memories hit him unexpectedly and General Mustang nearly fell to the floor with the sheer force of the Ishbal horror. Bright blue eyes stared back at him with fear and betrayal laced in their orbs as he raised the gun and willed himself to pull the trigger. _This is only following orders. They're helping the enemy which, in turn, is killing the people I love. I have to kill them, or they'll never stop. I'm following orders... Following orders... following... orders.._

... He could still hear their screams and the gunshots which followed.

His hand had been raised, poised over the receiver, when he had frozen in his tracks. Swallowing what remained of his pride, he sent his subordinate a pleading look. "Could... Could you do it, Hawkeye?" The Lieutenant gave him a reproachful look before softening into one of understanding. Wordlessly, she took his place in front of the phone and called the operator, instructing them to patch her through to Sarah and Urey Rockbell. Hearing the first names of the doctors sent a stab of guilt coursing through him and he swallowed hard. It took all of Roy's self control not to flinch as he heard a young girl answer on the other end.

"Hello, terribly sorry for calling you so late..." Soft assurances passed through the line and Hawkeye smiled warmly into the mouthpiece. "Winry, how are you? It's Riza." Roy silently thanked whoever was listening that he had asked her to answer the phone instead of him. He wasn't entirely sure he could expect himself to handle speaking with the girl he had orphaned.

"That's great. Listen, is Edward there, by any chance?" He watched silently as the Lieutenant's brow furrowed.

"Winr-?" Suddenly, a deeper voice came over the phone and Roy felt his heart leap into his throat. Riza's eyes grew wide as she heard the newcomer answer the phone. "Alphonse? Is that you? You sound different..." Her hand suddenly flew to her mouth, eyes wide with excitement. Now the General was feeling rather peeved that he wasn't on the line with the youngest Elric. But at least now they knew that the boys were, in fact, in Resembool.

"You-! That's incredible! How did yo-?" Without warning, Riza's demeanor completely changed. Where her face had displayed excitement moments ago... It now spoke unimaginable horror. The receiver fell from her hand, clattering to the floor and skidding a few feet away, as she slumped against the wall and slid to the ground. Mustang quickly grappled for the phone, feeling a sense of cold dread sweep over him.

As he brought the phone to his ear he could distinctly hear the sound of strangled sobs ripping themselves from the boy on the phone. But... Alphonse couldn't cry..

"Hello, Alphonse? It's General Mustang." In response, he heard a noise similar to someone's breath catching in their throat, before the sobbing continued- much louder and more distressed.

_"I... I'm s-s-o... so... sor-sorry... I-I'm so.. so sorry.." _The line went dead and the dial tone was almost deafening. Frantically, Mustang grabbed at the receiver and shouted into it, desperate for an answer.

"Alphonse? Alphonse, hello?" No answer. He was gone. He threw the phone away from him in frustration, ignoring the way the cord caused it to simply slide back across the floor.

"Damn it! What the hell happened, Hawkeye?" He grabbed at the Lieutenant's shoulders, searching her eyes for an answer. Of course, they betrayed nothing, but there was a sadness lingering there... A sadness he had not seen in her eyes for many years. She quietly raised her hands and placed them over his own, raising them from her shoulders and away from her as she studied the tile flooring.

"Alphonse is in Resembool, Sir. His body has been restored." The General blinked, as if not entirely comprehending what he had been told. After all this time... could Al really be back to normal? Though his heart wanted to smile and leap for joy, his mind told him that there were still too many pieces missing from the puzzle.

"I- I can't believe it... That's amazing!" The questions fell from his lips like rain. "But... why was Al so upset? And why the hell didn't they call to let us know that they're okay? They could at lea-"

"Edward isn't with him, Sir." He fell silent and stared at his subordinate, who looked just about ready to cry. The sun betrayed her as it continued to rise in the sky, washing over her with its rays and causing the watering of her eyes to become more apparent. Mustang was shell-shocked and felt as though a vice had gripped his heart. Hawkeye only cried on extreme occasions... the last time he remembered was when she had believed him to be dead on the front porch of the Fuhrer's mansion.

"What do you mean? Where is he?" He spoke the words on instinct. It was as though he was a marionette; a puppet on strings: aware of his every movement, but too numb to control them himself. At her silence, he felt himself burrow more deeply into the safety of his mind, trying desperately to hide himself from the answer which he knew he would soon need to face.

But, he was afraid. He wasn't as strong as his loyal Lieutenant. He had almost killed himself after the war, where she had stood strong. And now...

Now he didn't have Hughes to pull him through the darkness.

Again, his lips moved of their own accord, trembling violently as if from cold, and repeated his earlier question.

If there was any warmth to the sunlight on his back, he couldn't feel it. He was numb to the world. Hollow. Cold with fear at the realization that, once again, his friend had blatantly ignored his question.

Dismally, he reached out and placed his right hand on her shoulder, bowing his head in silent prayer and tried to ignore the shaking of his form.

"Hawkeye... please.. Where's Fullmetal?" He thought he could handle it. He thought that, perhaps, he had only imagined the tears in her eyes. His subordinates were strong. Hawkeye didn't cry, and Edward could never be deterred. Whatever obstacle the alchemist faced, he always overcame it with that beautiful fire in his eyes. And that fire would never go out so long as Roy was breathing.

That's right... Whatever had been said over the phone... He could take it.

"Dead."

He was wrong.


End file.
